Get Used To It

If there's one thing I'm sure that every new parent hears over and over again, it's the phrase, "Get used to it."

I must be honest, I am very sick of hearing this.  Every time I make a comment, observation, joke, or even complaint, 9 times out of 10, someone who already has children will say it.  "Get used to it."

Here are my issues with this:

1. Everyone says it.  I guess each person feels they are being original and funny or cute.  Maybe the first time I heard it, it was.  But now that I hear it constantly, it is just annoying.

2. Getting used to anything with babies is pointless.  They change every day, sometimes by the hour, so there's really no point in "getting used to it".

3. It is not helpful, and often times not true.  When I first got home and was running on minimal of any sleep, people said it to me.  Well I get more sleep now than I did then, so there was no need to "get used to it."  Even if it's true, and the thing won't change, how unhelpful is it to tell some that?  If someone is sad because their dog died, they will continue to be sad about it, but no one tells you to "get used to it". 

How about, instead of this, we encourage new parents.  Tell them it will get better, or in time it won't seem so bad, or even try to help them.  To be fair, there are people who do this, but it seems more and more I get the former.

It makes my what do what??

Breastfeeding is a very challenging undertaking for the majority of moms.  Here's a fun fact that nobody told me until it started happening.

The day your little one is born, the elusive search for the perfect breastfeeding latch begins.  I remember wondering, "How will I know if he's latched properly?"

Well, the answer became obvious the first time he did.  For several days, as soon as he was properly latched, my uterus would contract.  The first few times, it was so powerful it could almost be considered painful (luckily, having just gone through childbirth, my tolerence of pain was as high as it will ever be).  It dyed down though, to the point of a mild period cramp.

This light cramp became a signal to me that we had achieved a good latch and helped me feel more confident that we were making progress on the breastfeeding front.

This Was Not In The Brochure

Ever since giving birth to our first child, my husband and I have said to ourselves over and over again, "this was not in the brochure."

We are realistic, logical people, and we've come to determine that parenting is anything but.  A friend urged us to write down all the things that we were finding that nobody told us along the way.  Perhaps we can lessen the surprise for some others out there.

Our Story
We may be more familiar than most with "the brochure" of parenting, because we spent a lot of time reading it.  First, we were married in 2002, but put off having children until we felt we were ready emotionally and financially.  That happened in 2008.  Unfortunately, nature had different plans for us.  It took us 5 years before we welcomed out dear little one to our family.

Those 5 years were fraught with emotional heartache of wondering if we would ever have a family. Anyone who suffers infertility knows how crazy it can make you at times.  From envy and bitterness, to invasive tests and procedures, it is hard on you both.  During all this time, you dream of your baby and constantly watch other pregnant women and new moms, mentally preparing for the day you will finally get to be her.

Now, I will admit, our baby had struggles that it would be hard to prepare for, but we felt there were certain things that other parents could have warned us about, or at least put on our radar.  So here I am, hoping to prepare other new moms for the possibilities.  All babies are different, but this has been our experience, not sugar coated, just real facts and feelings.